When?

When does all the bad stuff happen?

All of the tactics and all of the behaviors and all of the horrors and all of the gaslighting, projecting, leveling, lying, cheating, mirroring, word-salad, blame-shifting, martyr-complex, future-faking, manipulating, exploiting, threatening, triangulation, devaluing, splitting, seeking-supply/attention-seeking, trouble-making, creating-drama, controlling, love-bombing and even discarding… are all constantly churning away from minute one of the relationship through to the bitter end and beyond. They appear day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute and often during every single interaction. In my experience, they are all present all of the time, non stop.

In fairness, the real hard-core discarding episodes were not quite a frequent as the others but when it happened it was extremely severe. Some people actually get discarded. Me, like others, I remained.

In my experience, there wasn’t any particular pattern to the so called cycle of love-bombing, devaluing, discard, hoovering. These happened in any random order lasting anywhere from a single gesture to a week long episode. Trying to apply logic to it is a complete waste of time IMHO.