Narcissistic Rage

The name suggests that it’s all fire and fury but that wasn’t quite my experience of it.

Susan would become angry, obnoxious, belligerent and would turn on the trash-talk hose. She would do this when she was triggered. Triggering was somewhat unpredictable but here are a few examples:

• She’d get triggered if I cooked dinner for her. This is of course because her ego took a hit, she’s the cooking-dinner person, that makes her special, that’s a catalyst for praise, recognition and appreciation #narcissistic-supply. So taking this away from her triggered her and the “narcissistic rage would result.
• She’d be triggered if I didn’t cook dinner for her because again, her ego took a hit, she feels entitled and worthy of a dinner. Denying her that seems to have been perceived as treachery and betrayal and to the rage would get triggered.
• Inviting one of Emma’s friends over. This of course meant that I must have had some communication with the friends parent(s) and therefore jealousy would be the trigger.

I’m not exaggerating. Susan is the most torturous human being I’ve ever known and I dunno how I put up with her for so long (ok, I do, my happiness was hard-wired to the resultant glorious control and stability that came from appeasing and neutralizing her. #trauma-bond. Go me!).

Eggshells. When triggered, the slow, cold, sustained growling could last for hours, days even weeks. Not true-rage in my experience, just some kinda weird relentless trash-talking that came as a direct result of some kind of ego injury.