Narcissistic Injury

Day to day Susan delivers her usual belligerent vitriolic trash-talk. But every now and again, something happens that sends her into an absolute frenzy. I understand that the frenzy is caused as a result of a narcissistic injury.

Nope, I haven’t hit her. Nope, I haven’t delivered a perfect insult. Both of those would probably serve as “narcissistic supply” rather than delivering a “narcissistic injury”. What’s actually happened is that her ego has taken a hit.

Keep in mind that her entire disposition is all about control. It’s hard to predict but, if I say something, or if something happens that threatens that control, I can expect a frenzy.

Facade

In addition, keep in mind that Susan operates a facade. To the outside world, she is wonderful. That includes her work. So when Susan got some constructive feedback during her annual review, the earth sustained severe scorching for days after. When it becomes clear to Susan that the person sees beyond the facade and sees real imperfection, Susan does not handle it well. She takes a hit. In Susan I think it invokes feelings of shame and inadequacy… and she goes absolutely bonkers. I get yelled at, my clothes get trash-bagged up. Pictures get flung from walls. The shouting and vitriolic torture reaches incredible levels. Life gets very tough when Susan sustains an injury.

Keep in mind however, that if I gave her the same criticism, it would just be a challenge to her, wonderful narcissistic supply can flow from it as she argues the heck out of me. However, delivered by her boss who might be considered higher on the pecking order (hierarchical thinking), well, that delivers a killer blow.