Leveling

Me:

Susan, you’re making Emma cry, do we have to do this right now?

Susan:

Oh, but it’s ok for you to make me cry?

She can’t take the hit, she has to accuse me of something equally bad. She’s levelled it up.

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Me:

Susan, was it really necessary to throw the blanket into the bin, if you had asked I’d have taken it to the clothes bank (recycling facility for clothes in every town and village in Ireland)

Susan:

Well, Maria threw a TV into the bin.

Again, it’s ok as long as somebody else is doing it.

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Leveling, bringing me up or down to match her.

It’s a specific flavor of blame-shifting and deflection. In my experience items from the distant past tend to be drafted in for the occasion.