Empathy is not constant

Empathy can come and go in response to external stresses.

Ruth

Let’s continue with the Ruth example, you’re out for a walk together and she tells you about her anxiety with regard to giving presentations at work recently.

Reality bites

Ruth is having difficulty, however you may not be emotionally available for this because of any number of reasons. For example:

• You may have heard all this before and can’t be arsed hearing it again. Some people can really wear you out to a point where you just don’t care.
• You’ve had a really stressful day and this walk was supposed to be a de-stressor. You’re just not in the mood for this level of drama right now.
• You’ve got your own problems to worry about and could do with not taking on any more right now.
• You’re kinda focused on something else right now, you care (cognitive empathy) but just aren’t really committed to engaging so you kinda pull back from it.
• Or whatever….

The point being, empathy can come and go. A certain amount is of course always there but if you’ve got your own stuff going on, you may not have capacity to be empathic right now. Next week when you’re not so consumed you’ll be back to your usual empathic self.

Empathy is not a constant. This is normal. This is human. This is good. This is healthy.