Consequences of reduced empathy

As detailed in previous pages on empathy, hopefully it’s apparent that a lack of empathy is not an isolated thing. It comes as a package deal that includes:

• Completely misreading the situation.
• Perceiving you as a threat.
• Reactive outbursts.
• Trying to win or trying to outdo you constantly.
• Collecting intimate secrets to later weaponize.
• Being possessive and treating you like a servant.

Those things may be as a consequence of having low empathy.

Feedback

I believe that the lack of empathy in my wife has cut off any feedback she may have gotten from me that might tell her that she needs to stop being abusive. She just never got the signal from me and over the years she has unleashed hell on earth at me. I am merely an object to her that must serve her, such as a laptop, and she has never treated me any other way.

Now, I’m going to speculate here, amateur psychologist alert…

A lifetime with no empathy leads to…

Behaviors that are not good, not good at all.

Consider if you had no empathy for a person, there could be certain gains to be had from it.

• You could steal from them and not care about how it affects them.
• You could cheat on them and not care a hoot how that might affect them.
• You might exploit them.

The fact that these things are bad wouldn’t even register with you because you didn’t get that emotional jolt to tell you to stop. The fake empathy keeps it hidden. The lack of real empathy promotes and facilitates bad behavior.

• They never truly connect with you.
• They never really know you.
• They won’t ever understand you.
• They will hurt you, a lot.
• They will not see that you are hurting.
• They will be sadistic.
• They will be cruel to their children.
• They will steal.
• They will lie.
• They will cheat.
• They will exploit.
• They will manipulate.
• They will have strained professional and familial relationships.
• They will kick the cat out of the way in frustration and not care (when nobody is there to see of course).
• They will not see that their incessant demands for attention are selfish, unfair and are making you unhappy.
• They will never see that their unfair, needy, demanding, selfish behavior is draining the life and soul out of you.
• The fact that you are a laptop, you are there to serve, you are there to work and not malfunction.

Your empathy will be eroded

Speaking from my own experience, yet another side effect of this lack of empathy is that unfortunately it’s somewhat contagious. This mistreatment over a long period of time has eroded my empathy for my abuser.

Ever wonder if you’re the narcissist because your behavior to the actual narcissist is not so good?
Well, if you’re like me, it may be because your empathy for them has been eroded to the point where you’re capable of being cruel and unkind to them. I know from personal experience that this can be unsettling and upsetting. I was never violent, physically or verbally to my wife. I have unfortunately on rare occasions reacted to her and said and done things I shouldn’t have when she pushed me past my limits. The guilt of it was hard.