Bullshitting

Susan ws asked one day who Emma’s teacher was. Susan of course hasn’t a clue so queue the bullshit.

“Oh… what’s her name again… oh, it’s on the tip of my tongue now but I can’t think of her name”

I’m well familiar with this tactic now, I remember it being used on me all the time in the early days of our relationship to disguise the fact that Susan didn’t have a clue. I’d end up finishing her sentences oblivious to her clueless manipulating reality.

So, inevitably, somebody else chimed in with “I think it’s Patricia Robertson, isn’t it?”

“Oh that’s her yes, of course, I just couldn’t think of her name” Susan says.

But it doesn’t stop there. Susan continues, “Is she related to the Robertson’s in Fairville?”

“I’m not sure” says somebody else.

Susan continues, “I think she is yea. That family had a lot of tragedy recently.”

“Oh really?”

And the conversation now switches to something completely different and nobody is any the wiser that Susan hadn’t a clue who Emma’s teacher was.

Soccer

I’ve even been standing beside Susan at some of Emma’s games where Susan would have a full blown conversation about the current form of Manchester United. Trust me, Susan knows nothing about Manchester United. She says generic things like “he was injured a while ago wasn’t he?” (a safe bet, most players end up sidelined for a while through injury at some point in the season). “I don’t think so, no” came the puzzled sympathetic response. “Oh, I must be thinking of some other player so?” Says Susan, calculating.

And someone would chime in, “Yea, Martinez was out for a good while with an ankle injury” to which Susan would respond with absolute conviction, “oh yea that was who I was thinking of”.

Susan does not have a clue about soccer, and I mean not a clue, and no interest whatsoever. Yet, she can maintain a full blown seemingly intelligent conversation about Manchester United with people without them having even the slightest inclination that she’s bullshitting the entire conversation.

I have to hand it to her, it is an extortionary skill and spectacular to see it in action.