The argument app

Things were bad!

It’s years ago now and I can’t quite remember the exact circumstances but clearly I didn’t have a voice and I could not get through to her ( #stonewalling #control ) .

I spent days, if not weeks, creating a web-app that would allow us to solve our arguments. I really liked it as it happens. Similar to what WhatsApp or Messenger look like for example, we could add “points of view” to a feed. Either of us could respond to the point of view. Any response could then be turned into a new point of view if needs be. The idea being that any argument could be recursively broken down into logical parts with each part dealt with individually.

Now get this, items could be marked as “resolved” meaning that we had reached agreement.

I was sure this would be just the tool to fix our relationship, that we’d finally be able to communicate and work through all our disagreements ( #fawn-response #trauma-bond ) . It wasn’t. It didn’t. We weren’t. And we didn’t. She refused to even try the tool ( #stonewalling #control #devaluation ) .

How completely daft was I? It seems so ludicrous to me now it’s actually embarrassing. I was going to crazy lengths and crazy head spaces just to try to establish some communication between us ( #fawn-response #codependency ) .

She had no interest in resolving anything or even hearing my point of view ( #stonewalling #lack-of-empathy ) . I had no idea I was dealing with a relentless onslaught of gaslighting, lying, word-salad, controlling and narcissistic supply extraction. She was taking me for a fool all along ( #manipulation ) .

Yet another example of all the one-sided effort that went into maintaining, fixing, and repairing the relationship with zero reciprocation ( #codependency #manipulation ) .