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The hall light

Sitting room, hallway, kitchen. That’s the layout.
To get from the sitting room to the kitchen, six meters of hallway have to be
negotiated.

Not a big deal? Well, actually it kinda is, when it’s pitch dark that is.

For years, no light was permitted in this hallway. The following is not a joke.

She had a thing about light shining through the door / under the door of “her” bedroom ( #control #entitlement ) .
She had a thing about wasting electricity ( #control ) .

So when I went from the sitting room to the kitchen, I’d have to mute the T.V. keep the sitting room door ajar and creep silently along the hallway, then turn left at the T and into the kitchen. As long as the click of the kitchen light-switch was muted and the light from the kitchen shining under her bedroom door didn’t upset her ( #control #manipulation ) . we were safe and sound.

Navigating back carrying things, with no light from the kitchen, a pitch dark hallway with just a sliver of light from the ajar sitting room door, was challenging to say the least.

Then one day we were in future faking mode but I didn’t know it, I was dreamy,
there we were once again planning our beautiful house as we browsed the aisles of a homeware store ( #future-faking ) . And there it was, 50% off, a trendy small LED table lamp but here was the best bit, it was dimmable and it was just four watts. The answer to all my creeping about in the dark problems.

Now, just for context, a 4Watt lamp left on 24/7 for a month would cost about 37cents.

Surely, this could be our (millionth) first step towards a bright future together in our nice home (once we finished all the fixer-upper construction bits)

Nope, the future faking, it appears, was indeed just faking. The lamp was not allowed. Well, you know what, I bought it anyway. Our dreamy and loving walk through the homeware store descended into embarrassing bickering and agro. It was one of those days that stands out for all the wrong reasons. It was a dark, wet, windy miserable winter’s day and we couldn’t enjoy each others company for more than an hour before misery inevitably set in.

As for the lamp, it’s allowed sometimes but she routinely ensures it’s dimmed as much as possible ( #control ) . I’m absolutely not permitted when she decides it isn’t though, which is pretty much every devaluing session. I’m grateful for the nights I don’t have to stumble around in the dark, but was it worth it? I’m not so sure, it’s now something of a devaluing weapon ( #control ) .