Narcissism vs. Narcissist vs. NPD?

Narcissism

• A personality trait inherent in every human being.

Narcissist

• A handy term to refer to an individual whose narcissism may be elevated (for years with no letup and no prospect of change) and kinda problematic.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

• A psychological diagnosis administered by a professional clinician.

Narcissistic

• Kinda the same as “narcissist”.

Narcissist versus Narcissistic

• I’ve heard people trying to distinguish between “narcissist” and “narcissistic”.
• I’m not buying it, professional clinicians are unlikely to use the word “narcissist” because it has no clinical meaning. Distinguishing between “NPD” and “Narcissistic” certainly makes sense though.

Narcissistic again

• Just keep in mind that every single human being on the planet has narcissistic traits. We wouldn’t be alive today if we didn’t look after ourselves. Stretch that “looking after ourselves” thing to the point where it becomes selfish and imposing then our narcissism might become a problem.

Now let’s add some real confusion

I refer to my wife Susan as a narcissist. But when I hear a 15 year old saying “OMG, you’re… like… such a narcissist”, I cringe. So… crap… double standards. It’s ok for me to throw the word narcissist around but not ok for the 15 year old to completely misuse the word?

So, here’s my understanding:

• It is impossible to determine if a person is a narcissist without monitoring their behavior over years.
• It’s impossible to know if that person would qualify for the diagnosis of NPD until it is actually administered by a professional.
• Being jealous, envious, rude, obnoxious or selfish are features of a narcissistic personality but they are also perfectly normal.
• Being jealous is being jealous, nothing more. Being envious is being envious and nothing more, being rude is being rude and nothing more. Being obnoxious is being obnoxious, nothing more. Being selfish is simply selfish and nothing more.

Getting the semantics correct, narcissists are seriously problematic people who inflict hell on earth on the people around them, for years, with no letup and no prospect of change. They have enough of the bad stuff to really earn the label.