Susan's abusive crap part 1

Parts of the coffee machine will regularly be confiscated as punishment.

The lead for the kettle is sometimes confiscated as punishment.

Confiscates the breadboard as punishment on the basis that it's hers.

Makes excessive and exaggerated noise early in the morning before leaving for work as punishment.

The door to the master bedroom is frequently locked preventing access to a wardrobe where my clothes and underwear are. This room for a number of years also contained an en-suite bathroom which had the only working shower at the time. I have since repaired an alternative shower.

Toilet paper and kitchen towels are sometimes confiscated.

She regularly gets into a temper tantrum, becomes obnoxious and hostile.

Then blames it on not having had a coffee yet or having had too much coffee or not having had enough sleep or having had too much sleep or any other mitigation.

Threatens to “have a word with” Emma's teacher and school principal to get them to discipline her.

Disturbing: Shouting and crying about the house for Emma to hear. Crying that she has huge health complications since giving birth to Emma. Emma hears this regularly. It's followed up with “and you didn't get me the help I needed” just so we're in no doubt who the villain is.

Buys me deodorant (or other such items), demands praise and appreciation for same, discards my own deodorant then later confiscates the deodorant she bought me as punishment. This happens with food items and/or the odd item of clothing such as a jacket or socks she may have bought at Christmas.

She presented our divorce papers to Emma the day she received them. She later accused me of talking openly about the divorce in front of Emma.

Threatens to damage my computer and monitor.

Made good on her threat and damaged my computer.

Threatens to inform my friends and family about all my “dirty little secrets” (I'm not entirely sure what those are).

Threatens to inform my fellow football coaches and other parents that I'm a pedophile and should not be around children.

Demands that I cook for her seeing as I cook dinner for Emma on school days, then tells me it's horrible, void of nutrition (because the meat and veg are from Supervalu rather than a butcher or market which she favors) and that I'm a useless cook compared to her.

Engages in increasingly regular screaming matches with Emma during which Emma has declared that she wished she was never born or in her own words “never existed”. On many occasions, I've found Emma hidden, crouched, rocking back and forth in a corner vigorously biting on her fists while Susan's vitriol booms around the house from the kitchen. Evidence of tension and anxiety manifests from time to time in Emma in the form of a rash around her bottom lip. It is caused by biting.

Insisting on cooking dinner on Saturday's, starting it, deciding that we're not grateful enough, abandons it halfway through only to return hours later to resume cooking. Then realizes we've eaten something small while waiting and so decides we're not worthy, she'll be cooking for herself only but not now, later, she disappears again only to return later to finish it off and present it as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all.

Continually tells me I'm a useless parent and she'll be taking over all parenting responsibilities.

Tells Emma that she's useless at football compared to her friends and that “Daddy” must be a useless coach.

Compares Emma's behavior to idealized imaginings of her friends gloriously wonderful love and behavior.

Continually tells me she's met someone and is having an affair.

Continually asserts that I tried to kill her (bogus).

Continually asserts that I have a temper or have become hostile to her. I gave up arguing with her years ago, this assertion is unfounded.

Demands that Emma be isolated from my 17yo brother-in-law with no basis whatsoever.

Not for the first time, has instructed the plumber not to come to repair leaking showers.

Refuses to pay for anything on the basis that we're separating, and she'll be taking all my money and my pension anyway so it's right and proper that I pay for everything. I can recall this happening as far back as 2018.

Tries to prevent me from using the lawnmower on the basis that it was given to “her” by her late father.

She seems to accuse me of doing the things she does herself.

I have to justify new purchases such as new headphones or new shoes.

She continually threatens separation and divorce (I can recall this happening as far back as 2018). It doesn't matter that Emma openly hears her. In fact she tells Emma that “Daddy” will be moving out and she won't see me as much anymore.

She sometimes empties wardrobes of my clothes, packs them into bin bags and leaves them at the door announcing to Emma that I'm leaving.

I regularly receive ultimatums with very specific deadlines. E.g. “You better start treating me better or I'll have you gone out of this house. You have until Wednesday to decide, or I'll go to the police (or I'll go to a social worker, or I'll go to my solicitor)”.

She loves me, she hates me, flip flop, one extreme to the other, nonstop with intervals anywhere from minutes to hours, to days to weeks.

Insisting that Emma participate in no further playdates, only the ones she arranges or agrees to. She never agrees, it's all part of the controlling behavior.

Insisting that I exclude her from everything when in reality her presence and attentiveness is intermittent, unreliable and unpredictable.

Is constantly at war with her brother, the war is often narrated with rage in front of Emma in our house. The verbalization tends to contain adult content.

Has been in prolonged disputes (although we've had peace for about a year now) with work colleagues. Undiluted aggressive verbalization of same complete with rage and/or crying is often unleashed in our house in front of Emma.

“I'll go up to that school and I'll embarrass you” is a regular threat to Emma.

Year after year, criticizes the quality of the work Terry our hedge cutting guy does. Susan refuses to pay her share as a result. She wants some other guy to do it instead, yet we somehow only had that guy once.

Susan tells Emma that one of her friends is bold and no good and that other mothers have said the same.

Susan tells Emma that her school principal has “done something really bad” and that “he's not a very nice man” and that all the other mothers agree.

Insisting that she knows the postman and he's agreed not to deliver anything from my solicitor to her. He's appalled by my behavior. (not joking!)

Insisting that she knows the court officer who signed off on my divorce application and that she's also appalled by my behavior.