Emma and the stick
Friend
Section titled “Friend”Emma and her friend Laura are picking blackberry’s at the side of the pitch after training. I’m talking to Laura’s Dad. All is well.
One of the boys from their class arrives and starts hogging the blackberry’s. He barges in past the girls grabbing all the good ones. There’s no badness in this, he’s laughing a joking.
Laura picks up a thin flexible briar stick and starts swinging it the boy laughing in the process. I can see that Laura’s Dad is happy about this, he grins as he acknowledges it.
Emma climbs a ditch, and leans deeper into the briars. She avoids the boy and gets spiked by thorns in the process while carrying on about her business.
Boy gone
Section titled “Boy gone”The boy clears off. Laura dispenses with the stick. Emma returns from the tangled mess she got herself into to avoid the boy.
The problem
Section titled “The problem”Laura’s reaction was healthy. She stood up for herself. She demonstrated strong boundaries without upsetting anybody in the process.
Emma on the other hand. She fawned. She gave in. She avoided. She let the boy ram through her boundaries with no resistance at all. She showed a complete lack of self-esteem, a complete lack of self-worth.
Without intervention, this will be her life. Destined to be avoidant, fawning, getting walked over.